The onions are scared. They don’t know why they’re so massive.

It’s September already, meaning it’s a year since I a) came off antidepressants and b) started work on my allotment. I’ll always maintain the two are related. Look at the beautiful view I get walking back from the allotment, for a start:


I headed off to the allotment on Saturday but am currently battling some kind of cold and found myself taking a short nap on the allotment instead of all the work I’d planned to do. At least I flattened some weeds. My allotment’s made a lot of progress, although it doesn’t really look like it at the moment. Gone are the days when I needed to drag friends by their ears to my allotment to make it suitable for growing stuff in.

It being my allotment’s first birthday under my care, I’ve decided to list my successes and failures:



Much have I posted of potatoes. I suppose they’re not hard to grow if you’ve got space, so I don’t know if I can bathe entirely in glory, but I’ll dip my toe in. I have a lot of potatoes. I hope they’ll store properly over winter.


This was more of a surprise as I’d never grown them before. I bought the sets from the Roots and Shoots garden locally, planted them, and left them alone for a bit. Then my family came to visit me and I took them on a forced march to the allotment, during which they commented on the size of the onions:


My head to the left, third-largest onion to the right. I don’t know what I did to make them grow so much.


Young Camille asked me if I’d like to adopt an ill-looking baby courgette plant. I don’t like courgettes but I feel sorry for scrawny looking plants, and after a few months, it became one of the 25% of scrawny plants I’ve adopted that’s actually thriving.


I’m trying to get rid of all the courgettes. If anyone’s local and reading this, TAKE MY COURGETTES.



I love carrots, so was hoping for more success, but no. I have a couple of hopefuls still planted but nothing major.


Even more of a bitter disappointment. The seeds all died.


My older batch of leeks got leek rust and are just sitting there looking sad. Luckily I have a new batch that I’ve planted far, far away.



Plants are alive but doing very little. I didn’t know plants could grow this slowly.


Most of the sprout plants got eaten by rabbits, but there’s a couple left and who knows? Maybe the rabbits got sick of them.

I’m starting to think about what I’m going to do next year on the allotment. I think it’s too early to figure out what to plant (although I’m going to have another crack at carrots, and will reduce my potato crop by 25%. Oo and aubergines. And cucumbers). Over the winter I want to improve the raised beds, which I didn’t really have time (or the skill) to do last year. Some of the wood’s old and rotting and not ideal. I’m also hoping to make more permanent paths, as some of those that I made last year became overgrown. I have purchased a weed burner (a cheap one, rather than the more powerful-looking ones I keep looking at on eBay) and I think that’s going to create a LOT of fun in future.


3 thoughts on “The onions are scared. They don’t know why they’re so massive.

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